I am leaving because this whole freakshow is giving me ulcers. LEFEVRE: These are the two new managers, Firmin Something and Andre What’s-His-Name, and this is our new patron the Vicomte de Chagny. Look, it goes from cold to bombast in five seconds! SOME GUY IN THE BACK: Why in the hell would anyone want to buy a giant broken chandelier?ĪUCTIONEER: It’s a piece of history that figures in a deep and tragic mystery! Also, we wired it with electric bulbs. Moving on to… Lot 666, the Broken Chandelier OF DOOM. Any takers?ĪUCTIONEER: Sold! To the ancient gentleman with the Flying Nun. But please don't copy or repost the entire thing anywhere excerpts and links are always fine, though.ĮTA: Minor corrections have been made to dates and a couple of names.ĪUCTIONEER: Let’s see-Lot 665, one creepy-ass ugly monkey found in the Opera vaults. In fact, if you'd like, you can leave them in the comments for me to see. Oh, and since it always comes up: I never have a problem with anyone leaving comments. Please look up the difference between "heroin" and "heroine" before you complain about my "Heroine Addict" icons. (Yes, I have received, and am still receiving, a lot of these. If you think I'm not funny, that's one thing, but please don't leave me long screeds about how I didn't "understand" or "appreciate" the movie, because you're preaching to the choir. The point of these parodies is "affectionate snark." The jokes are written with love. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE ME COMMENTS ABOUT MY "HATE" FOR THE MOVIE. I have never seen the show, but I would probably like it, and I ended up really enjoying the music. I'm gonna try to be real clear about this.
I'm already running late with the book manuscript, but this was a very quick write-it practically parodies itself, and it was fun, and a good palate cleanser.ĮTA 4/02/05: Okay. I'm still counting up the fundraising, but we'll have a final count soon. As promised: Phantom of the Opera in Fifteen Minutes.
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